Tuesday, June 29, 2010

What Does Resistance Tell You?

Did you ever notice that sometimes, even when you have an exciting idea or concept, you resist working on it or even thinking about it? You do the laundry, wash the dishes, check your email, all while your "big idea" is lurking in the recesses of your mind. Why do we resist working on projects that we know will be fulfilling and completely rewarding?

I asked myself this very question last week as I proceeded to do a multitude of small to-dos, while my big idea (the current book I'm writing) waited for me to return to it. I'm not sure of the precise reasons (I'm not a psychologist), but I'm guessing my resistance has something to do with uncertainty and fear. As long as I busy myself doing all the mundane daily stuff that "has to" get done, I get a nominal sense of accomplishment and don't have to face the potential pitfalls of the big idea - frustration, rejection, failure...

But, the thing is, all those potential pitfalls currently exist solely in my mind. My book is (for now) just a harmless word document. I was resisting because I felt overwhelmed. I felt the looming pressure to succeed. This book is a big project (my biggest to date) and when you look at EVERYTHING that has to get done to get it out there and into the hands of readers, it is overwhelming. (My heart's beating now, just writing that...) But (deep breath), all I have to do to get my book completed and out there is to work on it consistently (that's not so scary is it?). So, as long as I set aside some time every day to put some words on paper, do some research, make some calls, it WILL get done. And that's a completely wonderful and reassuring realization.

So, in my resistance, I found answers. Instead of ignoring my resistance and consequently letting it halt my endeavors, I confronted it, questioned it, and gained clarity. The next you're feeling uncertain and resisting something that will ultimately be good for you, ask yourself "why am I resisting this?". You'll be amazed at what you learn about yourself.

Live better every day.


Cailen Ascher Poles is a lifestyle designer and author. For more information about Cailen and her design company, Cailen Ascher Design, visit www.CailenAscher.com.

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hello there. thank you for your comments - i love reading them.

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